The “last Christmas”

I love Christmas, I always have. I am borderline obsessed with the festive season, so much so that my husband says that Christmas for me, was the sickness we referred to in our wedding vows. I love the comfort of the cosy fire, the excitement on my kids faces, the magic and the general feeling of contentment that comes with it. I love the privilege we have as parents to give our children an absolute unshakable belief in something they can’t see. I love thinking up new ways to amaze and excite them every year.

The more elaborate the surprises I can create the better….for two reasons; because I have that opportunity and because childhood doesn’t last forever and kids deserve magic and make believe.

What I don’t like is the pressure I put on myself year on year to make it bigger, better and more magical. I am feeling that more so this year as my oldest child is 11 and I fear this may be the last year she believes in the magical side of Christmas. If I am honest, it makes me panic, like I am running out of time to make it extra special so she feels the magic one more time.

This is totally selfish, I should be enjoying watching her grow up but I, like many others I’m sure, feel uneasy with time passing all too quickly, especially at this time of year.

I know that even after Santa no longer figures in her thoughts, she will still enjoy the festivities and excitement, especially because my youngest is under 2 and Santa is likely to be visiting our house for years to come but it is hitting me hard this year. I’m sure it gets easier to accept the change from the innocence and magic of childhood to the teenage years with subsequent children but I am definitely struggling now.

I can’t be the only one, anyone else have the fear that they won’t make their child’s “last Christmas” magical enough?


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